How Many Christians Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

By Ben Witherington

Charismatic: Only 1 – Hands are already in the air. Pentecostal: 10 – One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. Presbyterians: None – Lights will go on and off at predestined times. Roman Catholic: None – Candles only. Baptists: At least 15 – One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken. Episcopalians: 3 – One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was. Mormons: 5 – One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. Methodists: Undetermined – Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass. Nazarene: 6 – One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy. Lutherans: None – Lutherans don't believe in change. Amish: What's a light bulb? Via whitebinder.org, who got it from the blog Ben Witherington on the Bible and Culture.

Max Figured Out the Johnny Jump-Up

My son figured out how to jump up and down and did it for at least 40 minutes. Here was the result:

What I've Been Thinking About

Max and I sometimes watch History Channel specials or National Geographic movies on Netflix. We recently watched "Ape to Man" and "The Human Family Tree." Oh, my, it was fascinating. I knew some of it, but I had forgotten most of it. This information also brought the whole Adam 'n Eve/Evolution skirmish to the forefront of my mind. I've been thinking about it and reading lots on it. Today I read this guy's theory on how the two could work together. I appreciated his willingness to say, "Lookie here, folks. There's a whole lot that we don't know and the scriptures and the scientific record might fit together really nicely but in a way that we just can't comprehend yet. Nevertheless, here's a possibility . . ." (He didn't actually say "Lookie here" but I just paraphrased his article. He has an interesting hypothesis.)

I like to know things, to have the facts. I consider myself a reasonable person grounded in good logic (um, except when I'm hormonal. I blame my physiology. C'mon, evolution. Fix it!). And in some realms of life, I do have the facts. In others, however, there remains a lot of ambiguity. Ambiguity is uncomfortable. This article is my very favorite on ways to deal with ambiguity (by Bruce Hafen). My favorite line from it (a quote by G. K. Chesterton) is "Love is not blind; that is the last thing that it is. Love is bound; and the more it is bound the less it is blind." Those who turn away from uncomfortable truths (both scientific AND religious) and reject one or the other might want to look again, to figure it out, and to be okay with some unsolved mysteries.


We're willing enough to spend hours and hours suspending our disbelief as we watch superhero movies; I think I should be willing to suspend my disbelief enough to trust that there is a God and he knows what he is doing.

And in the meantime, evolution is awesome. I'm gonna go get me some fruit flies.

All She Wanted Was Some Cocoa

Jamie walks into the apartment's lounge where there is a coffee/cocoa machine. As she attempts to get the cocoa out, she notices that A Certain Talk Show Host is fearmongering it up and talking about sex scandals on the TV. Annoyed, she asks the man sitting at the computer, "Hey, do you mind if I turn this off? This Certain Talk Show Host bugs me."

"Yes, I was watching that. I really like Certain Talk Show Host."
"Oops, I'm sorry. I won't turn it off, then." Jamie turns back to the machine and frowns at the coffee in the cup. She wanted cocoa.

"Why don't you like Certain Talk Show Host?" The man asks. Jamie tries to give a non-partisan, vague answer. She says she doesn't like the focus on fear and anger. The man proceeds to give an ad hominem attack on the current President, saying that he is dangerous because he said Such and Such. Man says he is a strict Constitutionalist, must save the Constitution, and is doing so by hosting a radio show called "Conversation on America." He will save the country from Evil President. The coffee/cocoa machine spits out grayish water and shudders to a halt.

Jamie, with a watered-down, half-full cup of coffee-smelling cocoa in her hand, tries to be positive, congratulates the man on having his own radio show, and says that perhaps, just perhaps, the President's words were taken out of context. She says she is sure that the President is trying his best to do what he thinks is good for the country. We indeed have many problems but we're moving along. Man responds with ad hominem attacks against Jamie. "Just look it up on the internet, ma'am. It's all there, just like I'm saying. Go home and look it up." Jamie edges toward the door. Yes, sir, I will. Yes, sir, all truth originates from ethereal partisan sources. Whatever you say, sir. This has been a great conversation, sir. You know exactly what to do, sir, to fix this country's problems. Goodbye, sir.

So much for America's Conversation.
All she wanted was some cocoa.

What Life Will Be Like . . .

Here's a good idea of what we're getting ourselves into . . . a massive bunch of logistics!

This blog is by a Foreign Service Officer's wife and she wrote a post on preparing to leave for Cameroon. It's still making me pretty excited, so I think that's a good sign.

http://adiplomatswife.wordpress.com/2010/12/04/destination-cameroon-update/

Wide Awake at 3 AM

I read a book once by that title. I found it while rummaging in the remains of a cosmic ray experiment on Dugway Proving Grounds. No joke. It was about sleep patterns. Well, I'm not exactly wide awake; I'd rather be in bed, but this twerp on my lap would rather be on my lap. Ah, well. Yesterday night he and I got 10 straight hours of sleep. We tried to replicate that tonight but apparently it was a fluke. Note the clock.

Additionally, while my family was visiting, Max would wake up at the most obscene times—and there are a lot of obscene times between 11:00 pm and 7:00 am—and want to play the piano. We had to cover the piano with a blanket while we rocked him back to sleep (my family was sleeping in the living room/normal Max room/library/den/dining room/garage). This photograph was (thankfully) taken during the day.

So we're making good use of time by posting a bit. Here's a video that has deep significant meaning to me. Mostly, I was listening to the 80s radio station in my dad's car when this song came on and I thought it was awesomely ridiculous. But now I see its application.